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More and more young women are realizing that they can tap into their families’ and communities’ networks and work with their parents to find their ideal partner.
And the increasing familiarity with dating apps and online dating, which some researchers have noted often operate in a similar way to arranged marriage or even overlap with it, might have something to do with it.
It wasn’t like we didn’t have say in the matter.” In her circle of friends, most women didn’t start out with the intention of getting arranged marriages.
“But the longer they are in the dating scene, the more favorable it is to them,” she said.
“I feel like the term gets thrown around a lot, and there’s a lot of stigma,” said a 26-year-old woman who lives on New York’s Long Island and asked that her name not be used to protect her privacy.
“But for me it’s just getting to know each other in a more public way, with your families involved rather than the more traditional Western dating.
“It wasn’t like my parents picked out a guy for me and I just had to get married,” Quadery explained.
“It’s just about how I met him, and how our parents were involved.
Having their parents help arrange their marriage, fully or partially, feels neither revolutionary nor regressive to them. The Islamic ideal is that Muslim couples do not have an intimate relationship before they get married and that an appointed guardian helps guide and protect the bride in the process of finding a spouse.
It was never something weird to me.” She got married in 2016, a year after her online Islamic studies teacher introduced her family to her now-husband’s family.
The couple only met four times in person before the wedding.
“I’ve seen this a lot, that girls meet a guy without the intention of getting married, and before you know it, you’re too deep into it to get out,” she said. ” Quadery’s relationship, like those of most other young women interviewed by RNS for this story, was what she called a “modern” take on arranged marriage: She met her now-husband when their parents introduced them to each other with the intention of them getting married.
The pair hit it off and tied the knot within six months.