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When you rely on something for self-esteem or excitement, you feel disappointed when you don't see these rewards and you withdraw from other sources of happiness.
During the times I slipped on my hiatus and went on OKCupid, I realized I felt a sense of dread as the homepage loaded because I associated the site with disappointment and rejection.
I ended up meeting my partner at a nightclub while on vacation in Ibiza with a girlfriend.
Back when FOMO was keeping me glued to my apps, I wish someone had reassured me other prospects would come my way if I looked up for a second.2.
Those swipes can seriously affect your self-esteem With fewer avenues to receive validation about my attractiveness, I sincerely began to believe my looks had declined (at the tender age of 25, I know).
Of course, nothing about me had changed, so this line of reasoning didn't actually make any sense.
It's actually a lot stressful than being in a suboptimal relationship.6.
Looking for love can backfire When I met my partner, I was in the opposite mindset from when I was online dating.
It's like gambling: The hope of winning is so strong and motivating, you don't even realize you're losing most of the time.4.
I felt like a lab rat mindlessly chasing its next pellet of food.3.
Dating sites can cause major anxiety A recent study in found that phone addiction causes depression and anxiety, and in my experience, online dating addiction has the same effects.
I first created an OKCupid account in 2011, and for nearly five years, online dating and I had a tumultuous, on-and-off relationship.
Then, in December of 2015, I decided I would take a break from online dating—and that unlike my previous "breaks," this one would last for more than a few weeks.
I wasn't even messaging the people I matched with—I just wanted the ego boost of getting a match.