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I also add four Red Flag Words: “banter”, “hygiene”, “spiritual” and “Canadian”.
We've picked the best dating sites for giving fate a helping hand, whatever your age, sexuality, interests…
A Tinder girl cancels, as I’ve failed to “banter” on Whats App.
So be prepared to spend an afternoon spilling your heart out as part of the sign-up process before you can get anywhere near other members' profiles. The thrill of connecting with someone online can easily make you drop your guard. If the person you're chatting to keeps putting off the chance to meet, ask yourself why. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable or gets abusive, don't hesitate to report them to the website. If you're in the UK, make sure your chosen dating site follows the Online Dating Association code of practice. Two of the best-known dating sites, Match and Dating Direct, are both now owned by French company Meetic and are effectively the same thing, but will happily take a subscription fee each.
There are pros and cons to narrowing down your search from the get-go.
Niche dating sites tend to be cheaper than mainstream sites, for starters, but the biggest advantage of a specialist site is the feeling of being among friends.
There’s been a revolution in sexual practices that passed me by (have you seen Tinder? I’m a dinosaur – a missionary man in a reverse-cowgirl world. Inane openers do break the ice, but stop you from reaching anything deeper. I crave male company so go home and watch Expendables II. I discover that coffee dates can work when you’re not in the office headspace. I tell her I was running late and had to elbow a granny out of the way to get off the train. The scatter-gun concept works: by the time I meet my fourth woman, the jitters that can ruin a more conventional date are gone.
I meet a former colleague, C, who I’ve been lusting after for years. It’s a pretty good pie, too, but she doesn’t go over.
More than half the UK's 1,400 dating sites cater for a specific group such as over 50s, gay daters and disabled daters.