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In war, as in dating, there are tactics and strategy.
Tactics are the means deployed to gain an objective. Strategy is planning, positioning, and decision-making that shape what tactics are used and when.
Do they live in a major city or a more rural area, where dating traditions can vary quite a bit? Under-do it and you’re saying, “I’m just not that into you,” or worse, “I’m a lazy scrub.”Over-do it and it can be a red flag: “Oh man I’m so into you please please please love me back?!?
While it might seem like a bold tactic to try and level up your relationship by splashing for a blowout Valentine’s day, it’s not a sound strategy. Unless you’re absolutely certain the relationship is ready for it, a shock and awe date on Valentine’s day is likely to backfire because there’s already considerable pressure on both sides to present a Goldilocks gesture – not too eager/intense, not too casual.
If one side blows this up, the consequences can be grave.
I can’t believe he did that.”The sound strategic path to leveling up your relationship is to side-step the Valentine’s pressure-cooker entirely. If you’re going to make an effort on Valentine’s day, ditch the chocolate, roses, and five-star restaurants and consider this advice from Certified Relationship Coach and owner of Maze of Love Chris Armstrong:“The appropriate gesture for today's dating pool, especially millennials, is more about an experience than something you can hold in your hand.
In this, it is much easier to plan something without overdoing it.